20 Things That I Learned At My Twenties
I have to admit it. I don’t usually give so much importance to my birthdays, but this year is different. When I realized I was near my 20’s I thought about all the things that happened to me and they have me now where I want to be.
I learned a lot, for better or worse. And I want to share some of those learnings that can serve you no matter how old you are. Enjoy
1. Not everyone has the same opportunities
And that’s why they have to be valued. I grew up with my grandmother and my great-grandmother. They both didn’t finish elementary school, that’s not what they were supposed to do. They were born when women could not even vote, let alone think about a career.
We were born in a different age, and not only the age, but the city, place, family. You have to be clear that even if you don’t have everything you want you to have to want everything you have, cause for sure outside there will be someone wishing for it.
2. Value the skills more than the topics that school teach you
When I was in school I didn’t understand why I have to memorize processes in math class or biology. I constantly wondered if it would serve me for anything in life.
I couldn’t see that behind those workshops were hidden skills that would serve me as a professional. The next time you wonder if you will use a topic someday, think first in the competence used to learn it. Is it valuable for you?
3. Surround yourself with people you admire
If you are the smartest person in a room, you are in the wrong room. Surround yourself with people that add value to your life.
Do not waste your time with envious people, who only criticize but do not propose. Remember that you are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with. Choose wisely.
4. There aren’t careers that don’t make money, only people who do not know how to exploit them
Yeah, we all have face the situation when we tell our parents what we want to be and they say “It doesn’t make money”. When I told my aunt I wanted to be a teacher that was the answer.
I felt annoying. Why what makes me happy can’t give me money to have the life I wanted? But I realized that, for example, a stylist does not make too much money, but how much money do celebrity stylists make?
My father is an engineer. Engineering is well known to be a career that makes money, but my father doesn’t.
So you have to choose a career that inspires you enough to work, to stand out, to be different, and create all the money you want and give you the life you want. Don’t let them tell you which careers are giving or not giving money. The effort to achieve it is what makes the difference
5. Image isn’t the most important thing, but it matters
And I’m not talking about how skinny or strong you are. The image is more than measures. It’s the presentation of your work, the care you take of your personal hygiene, and the way you speak.
The first impression can take away or give you many opportunities in life. Take care of your personal image.
6. Say ‘No’ without regrets
Don’t feel guilty about it. Spend time doing something you don’t want or have time to just because you can’t say ‘no’ is a waste of time. If you don’t want to attend a party or take a task at your job you can say ‘No’.
Practice it, it’s in fact a hard to do a thing.
7. Your time is your most valuable resource
You can have all the money and luxuries in the world, but if you don’t have time to do the things that make you happy maybe you are misinvesting your energy.
Don’t go out of your way to get a job. Today you work there and tomorrow they can take you out. And all the time you didn’t spend with your family isn’t going to recover. If you were to get sick from stress, your boss wouldn’t be as hurt as your family.
Set boundaries
8. Please, do exercise
I don’t tell you this for looks, but health. When you are young you think that your body can handle everything. But life takes its toll. Do something that makes you heart bumping and stay healthy. You will thank me later.
9. Your mental health is as important as your physical health
Just like a headache won’t let you work. Anxiety or other mental illness does not let you live your best life. Don’t ignore the signals. Asking for help is not weak or crazy.
10. Not everyone has to care to be important
It doesn’t have to hurt everyone to be important, it has to hurt you. There will always be people who will want to minimize your feelings and make you think you are exaggerating.
If something disturbs your peace, your life and doesn’t leave you well, it is important. You have every right to feel what you feel and to ask for help.
11. You don’t owe loyalty or respect to anyone just because they are your family
There are people who are very toxic even though they have our blood. And you don’t have to share a relationship with them.
You have every right to walk away and go on. If those people don’t contribute to you, they’d better stay away.
12. Someday you will run out of people to blame
And have to take responsibility for your life. What if my mom, what if my dad, what if the government, what if my friends, what if the person who hurt me… the list can continue.
If you are going to wait for an apology, that apology is not going to come. They got on with their life a long time ago even if they hurt you or whatever.
It’s your responsibility to take charge of your life and move on, forgive and move on, do it more for you.
13. Don’t forget your parents when you start making money
They invested not only their time but their life in you. You don’t owe them your life, but if you have the opportunity to help them, do so. Many times they will not ask for help and you will believe that all is well. Remember to look out for them.
14. Invest in your own growth is always a good investment
I used to felt guilty when I spent money on something expensive. There are expenses and bad expenses. If what you are buying is useful for your personal development, to develop your personal brand, to become a better person or professional, invest in it.
Your best investment will always be you.
15. Invest in experiences more than in things
And more if you are still young. Believe in me, you don’t need the last cell phone in the market, it will be obsolete soon. But that trip you’ve always wanted, that restaurant you’ve always wanted to go to, that movie you’ve always wanted to see is worth more.
All experiences give you topics of conversation and make you a more integral person. Invest in experiences.
16. Most of the time money buys happiness
Don’t judge me, money is really important where it is needed and really unnecessary where it is not. You don’t need money for someone to love you. But If you want to see your family happy where will they be better off? Living comfortably and without needs, or going hungry?
Value the money to get it to you. Don’t be obsessed with it, but give it the value it deserves, the value of your work and your time. Because with it you are giving yourself a better life for you and for those around you. The more money you have, the more you can help.
17. You deserve what you dream, not the bad things that happened to you
This happened to me a lot. Most of my life I was made to believe that I was suffering because I deserved it. Because I had done something wrong and that’s how I should be.
Life does not treat you well if you are good. It’s like a lion, it won’t stop attacking you just because you’re a vegetarian. It has nothing to do with who you are.
The bad things that happen to you are just that: things that happen. What you really deserve are the things you dream about, the things you work for, and what you’ve always wanted.
18. If you don’t ask, the answer will be always ‘No’
And it applies to everything. If you don’t apply to that job, you don’t get in. If you don’t apply to be a speaker, you won’t be a speaker. If you don’t ask for help, you won’t get help.
Most of the time the worst thing that can happen is that they say ‘no’ and that ‘no’ is already there if you don’t ask. Ask for it
19. Shame does not pay my bills
I study software engineering, but I have a make-up business that I promote a lot. People ask me sometimes if I don’t feel sorry for it. But if I keep thinking about it, I can’t use it to pay bills.
Nothing you do to have a better future honestly should make you feel sorry for yourself. Feel sorry for those who steal or lie. Keep working, they are just talking, you are growing.
20. The moment you decide to stop growing is the moment you start dying
And that could happen at 22 or 70. There are more books in the world than you could ever read in your entire life. And not only books, but there are also movies, courses, workshops, everything.
Fill yourself with life, with the world, be an integral, competitive, and real human being. Don’t spend the rest of your life like a machine.
Those were my twenty lessons and advice. I hope they have served you no matter what age you are. You can always learn from others.
